Allowing the Exchange

You cannot have life without death, light without dark, love without hate or hot without cold. Everyday we rythmically take in the breath of life and breath out death. The oxygen fills our lungs, exchanges with carbon dioxide which is then released. Sometimes I find it hard to breath, which means the same as I find life hard to take. I notice that my breathing is shallow and forcing air in is a challenge. Forcing life is a challenge.
I remember when I was very little that I was very, very shy. Since the shy time I have found ways to overcome my timidness yet, to do this I have squirreled away a bit of myself. I have pushed myself into a spotlight in order to find love, to be accepted, to find connections all at the expense of my shyness. Inside I hold my breath, hold my life not allowing the exchange of life and death to flow. I sit there waiting to be noticed. But I am not waiting to be noticed by someone outside of me, just to be noticed by myself.