I left my childhood with a bag of goodies that would help me get along in this world. As I pick through my bag, looking for the right thing that will help me in this situation I find some sparkles, some fluffy, cuddly things and some half eaten bag of chips. I slowly realize that the bag i once felt so useful is more like a cozy blanket that does nothing besides providing a false comfort.
I look around and everyone seems to have a bags full of shiny tools that help them pave a solid pathway to happiness and wholeness. Not only do they have tools but they know how to use them.
I run down to the water to reflect. I run like a child, falling awkwardly, bumping my shins on random objects until I arrive all scuffed and dirty. My hair is knotted, my teeth crooked and I can’t seem to see clearly through my watery eyes and the matte of hair hanging there.
I start to look along the shore, ignoring the shiny reflection of the water for pretty shells and rocks that I collect and throw in my useless bag. I seem trapped in a repetitive cycle of distraction refusing to reflect or to find the real me.
I stop at the waters edge. I see something flicker in my reflection. I feel something swoon in my head. I hid something in there a long time ago. What was it? I feel movement that makes me dizzy. All of the sudden i feel a big wet shoe in my mouth. It is pushing to get out. I open my mouth and a girl covered in a proverbial goo comes falling out. She looks like I did so long ago. I ask her if she’s okay but she does not speak. She scurries away to find a dark crevice.
I leave her there as I am too confused to understand and look to the sand for more pretty things.
