Homework
The true meaning of home work might be tending to the shit within.. the stuff that stays on the back burner haunting your every move while you try to stay bright moving through the day while the shit is simmering back there steaming up your focus. she said to write…write for ten minutes without lifting the pen…write gratitude and see what follows. and so, here for all to see is my ten minute musing with all the improper grammar included:
(a special thanks to Wes for an unrelated email that reminded me to tend to this exercise this morning)
Gratitude:
Thank you Spirit for your guidance
thank you camille for your patience
thank you tess for your will/determination and bright love
thank you walter for so much….wisdom without words
thank you circle for providing a safety net of love to fall into when learning so many concepts that when learned can be apt to resistance
thank you water for your thirst quenching abilities
thank you pain for reminding me to pay attention
thank you most of all for this schooling opportunity to brighten myself for this big great huge world so that i may be of service to you and you and you
this day is glorious in the sun and brisk wind. the leaves are still clingin with their last bit of strength to the branches that gave them life and i whisk under them on my bike fuiously peddling trying to take in all the beauty and light while i sweat out the yesterday.
the song that i awoke to was simply this lyric
“LET GO
JUMP IN”
and then when gaining conciousness,
“WHAT YOU WAITING FOR…..
THERE’S BEAUTY IN THE BREAKDOWN”
the rest of the song came pouring onto my lips and its been bouncing around ever since.
I am resistant to thanksgiving this year and when reaching for my bike this morning I tweaked my back which is why I thanked my pain earlier for reminding me to pay attention. its not thanksgiving that i feel resistant to, or my family that i feel resistant to its my fear of looking foolish or flat out wrong in the face of someone who adores me knowing i wronged them in some way and for that i apologize.
mom, i apologize to you for not being faithful to the magic that binds us. thank you for always seeing the light in me even when i was dark and lost. in the future i will remember your profound love. thank you Forgive Me.
One comment
Leave a comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
robertchaplin says:
I love this thing you wrote to your mother.
Re: my bird ring, I have no plans to sell it.
January 7th, 2009 at 7:42 am