Stone Hopping

As a child I loved to play near the water, teetering on rocks and logs while dancing around, flirting with the wetness.  I would jump fully clothed, in the winter from rock to rock while the cold water of the river beckoned me.  Occasionally I would slip a little but never so much as to require new clothing.  This pattern of stone stepping evolved into a way of living.  As I grew, I made my way through the currents of life by skipping stones.

I feel the need to keep moving from rock to rock to see where the river leads.  I step toward the next rock, unwilling to leave the last one until my footing is assured.  I don’t seem to run out of path, the rocks are laid specifically for me.  You could say they were put there as breadcrumbs to follow.

Without ever turning around, I keep stepping from rock to rock staying my course to follow my river.  And yet sometimes there are rocks left too hastily.  Without enough thought.  They weigh on my mind at times and even in my dreams.

I had a recurring dream, not the same dream exactly but one whose lesson keeps repeating itself… Like a message from outside myself telling me to remedy the issue.  It was about an old friend, we were reunited and held eachother crying with sorrow, relief and joy.  In actuality I don’t see this as possible but after years of the recurring dream, I sent my friend a note.  No surprise that I never heard back but the other night my friend came to me in my dreams for clarification, for a clearer explanation as to what I wanted.  I want for nothing but for peace and love between us.  Even if the physical distance between us is greater than this earth, I want happiness to envelop both us.

There are miles of rocks that lay between us now and I know that I have never left my true path yet I reflect on my journey to find some unresolved grief and previously unacknowledged love.

The Dizzying Wind

Enveloped in a cloud, surrounded by sweet softness.  I hear a song escaping my heart in a long exhale.  It is about a girl lost in the wind. She is twisted up, confused but keeps her eyes open to take it all in.  In the end, with a whisper she fuses with the ether and becomes wind in form flowing, tickling all matter.  Upon the crescendo there are lights flickering, twinkling in my peripheral.  I am dizzy and feel faint, my breathing shallow and light. I don’t want to move out of fear that the disruption would stop the song that my heart so wants to sing.  The words fade but the feeling persists.

I was given a gift once by someone who pushed and prodded at me, forcing the gift at me while I pondered the package.  I finally took it, hastily opening and not quite understanding exactly what I was looking at after the last of the wrapping was gone.  I knew it was given with love and at the time it was something I needed, but I am still unsure of what it was that captured me so completely.

The song that I feel emanating makes my body ache because in truth I may have taken something that i wasn’t willing to give.  Or I gave something that I wasn’t willing to take.  Either way the gift is sitting on my heart blocking the way of my song.

Now it is my turn to push and prod at myself, without direction or sense of righteousness i am left to decipher my own clues… breadcrumbs that I leave for myself unknowingly so that I may clear the way to my own heart and let the wind breath life and regenerate me.

Little Fishy in the Water….

Shiny scales with cold eyes, slippery and wet.  So pretty, the little fishy. Distracted, I tripped over a math book and fell into the dark, rich water. Enveloped within.  I closed my eyes, ears and stopped breathing so that I could stay there for awhile and just feel the softness.  Hypnotized in the darkness by the heavenly water, the fish flitted by and the waves of energy hit my body.  I opened my eyes and saw the shimmer.  I followed for a long time and finally reached out to touch a scale.  The fish turned abruptly and stared right at me.  I thought for sure I had frightened it but after a long moment we started swimming together in unison.  I felt so lucky to be swimming with such an animal, so swift and quiet.  And then in a flash the shimmer flitted away.  I was abruptly startled by the aloneness and stood up in the shallow pond.

Something caught my eye the other day, I could swear it was that very same fish.  The dream that followed the sighting suggested that I missed the lesson that the fish had for me.  I am left here wondering, searching, fantasizing about what it was I missed exactly.

This is what the Fish is to some:

The Fish can teach us to adapt to all environments, to streamline our lives, give us protection when we need it and connect us to creative element of life: water.  The Fish reveals the strength of the currents in our lives and shows us clarity in the murky waters of the future.  When a Fish enters your life, it will signal the senses being awakened: visions, prophetic dreams, greater contact with the spiritual realm and even clauraudience.