July 31st, 2007
The skin glows warm. Thoughts escape like gases set free underwater. Upon arising, each one pops with an idea. The idea pervades the air. My air is thick with the scent of my thoughts. I dare not move as I might disrupt them as they wisp and wane around my hair like smoke. They stain my clothing and evade my cleaning agents. I cannot get away from them, nor would I want to as they are mine all mine. I put my nose to them and inhale deeply, ingesting them again and again.
A bouquet of thoughts, ideas, fantasies. I arrange them in my favorite vase and look to them as they are pretty. I may get distracted from time to time, but they never die… I’ve tried to let them dry up but they only get bigger and more beautiful. So, I pet them almost daily. I take them for walks and take pictures of them. Sometimes I even let them rain on me.
But if I make a move out loud, they are gone… like magical creatures in the forest, I must tread lightly.
July 29th, 2007
The woman asked me to pick a stone to hold while she read my aura. I found a smooth, two-toned rock that was egg shaped and soft. She told me that I am returning to the whole. I am uniting with all. I am balancing my feminine and masculine energies so that I am between, not pulled by one or the other. Then as a gift, she asked me to take a stone… I pulled it from a basket that I could not see into. The stone I chose was the same stone I had chosen for the reading. This stone is meant to balance energies, yin and yang, dark and light, dominant and submissive.
Today I picked up the stone and put it in my pocket, scented myself with an oil associated with individual expression, self-reliance, sex, love, and religion and set my intention to finding a person who might compliment my newly balanced energy.
Three beauties sat before me, the first was more of a guide. She pulled me to the location but nothing more. The second was shiny, the kind of thing that catches your eye and pulls your interest from everything else to just that one shiny thing. The third was a surprise. Like a present teasing me from across the room, “open me”. I immediately started twitching and haven’t stopped as of yet.
Spasm, Spasticity (from the Greek spastikos, meaning ‘to draw in’). It twitches and taunts me as I spin my thoughts around her like planets around the sun.
Still nothing more than a sensation, less than a thought. But here I am twitching.
The last time the twitching was in my eye. The eye detects light and a twitching eye would make the light flicker. The one who makes my eye twitch moves me still and flurries of dreams make the lights flicker bright.
This time the twitching is in my left triceps. Triceps is Latin for “three-headed”. Coincidently, three is what we’d be.
July 17th, 2007
The Oregon Country Fair beckons me every year and so again we made the trek down. I usually over pack with many odds and ends that i may need but this year I left hastily, only bringing essentials with few accents.
I am living in a house numbered six which is supposed to induce one into soul searching which is coincidently what I have been focused on since I moved in. I have been reading/researching thoughts and ideas centered around spiritual enlightenment knowing that I feel a purpose here which needs more definition.
Upon arriving to the fair, we drove around in a circle three times to find the perfect camping area. I spotted a couple who I was instantly drawn to but for whatever reason we ended up setting camp a little further down the road. Within an hour of setting up camp we were surrounded by somewhat overbearing hippies and the husband of another couple nearby had a very bad faint or possibly a seizure. We called for help and tried our best to assist…. but finally we moved our camp to join the couple I had spotted initially and the vibe improved instantaneously!
Our new friends were beautiful and fun if not just the perfect kind of crazy. We had created in that moment a community that I intend to keep. We looked out for and were ever-generous with each other. It was exactly perfect.
We worked at our usual Blazing Salads booth during the day, wandered the fair, ate yummy food, watched funny skits, slept in a field filled with stilt-people and various entertainment and finally ended up back in our perfect little community which grew daily to encompass more and more amazing people.
I had set in mind a goal for the fair as I do every year. The fair is a magical place where energy manifests into form. I set an intention every year and this year I needed some answers. I wanted to be shown my path.
On Saturday night I had a dream yet I was vividly awake. I became very centered, very grounded and in firm words “I am shaman” was heard throughout my body. And I was united with my purpose. Erik was shown to me, eyes closed and smiling with a crown that was gold with silver, emanating light. The gold symbolized the ability to heal and the silver the ability of insight. Clarity engulfed me.
I got my wish and my dream…..and my purpose!
